IM TIRED.

okay i'm freaking tired as hell.

pulled an ALLNIGHTER because joann was sleeping over at my house.
& we kevin did it with us haha.
over WEBCAM.
while we were webcamming and stuff i was like OH IM NOT TIRED.
but now, it's starting to really hit me haha.
We were going to meet for breakfast at McDonalds at 11.
but me and joann ended up waking up at 11 because our alarms didn't go off.
FAIL. nexttime! haha. but, i guesss i feel kinda accomplished, cause
i dont think i've ever pulled off an allnighter completely.
x)

random.

SO life's still going good x)
i made ayala's drumline! i.made.it. so happy! haha.
& friends are tight .
love, ugggh, don't bring that up. it's just really...painful ? i guess you can say haha. otherwise, there are some CUTTTTAYS out there . i like. i like. ;D
hmmm, random but, i really crave some popcorn chicken..
OH and crepes, and crackers, and nutella.
YUMMMMMY. hmmm, i'm still veryveryvery insecure. idk, i guess beauty is skin deep. and this is true, but idk, i still get kinda self concious haha. well that's all for today. off to homework !

SCARED

today was auditions, and i BOMBED it.
i did not do too well, but i am just hoping for the best.
i am going to stay up,as long as it takes to get those results !
i really hope i get vibe. i hoenstly, dont want ANYTHING else.
but i'll take anything. i just wanna be in the ensemble.
but ANYWAYS, i get hurt wayy too easily.
my ankle is stilll pretty retarted from when i sprained it back in december.
ryan pushed me down that one night, and i have a huge bruise on my left knee, and my right knee is all scraped up .
the inside of my nose like has a bruise or something, i dont even know. it hurts to even touch it
and NOW I HAVE STYE in my EYE! -_- it hurts to even blink .
great. just great.

drumlineee

so auditions are in THREE DAYS and i'm freaking out haha. i dont think i'm ready, and i'm going to fail. ESPECIALLLY when they start asking those questions !
but anywho, i realized that i really really really want to be in battery. and i actually really want to play bass. i wasp laying today, and it was REALLY FUN. & plus, battery just seems way more fun then pit. I wanna march, get drills, visuals, y'know. all that good stuff haha. BUT, i know that people will judge, and i'm scared to go to battery haha. I would try out like next year but i dont have ANY confidence, so i'm not even gonna try haha. but i would really like too hahaha . but i think i'ma end up on PIT all four years haha. Theres good and bad things about both battery and pit. sigh, if only i started battery in jr high years. Oh well, we'll have to see what happens. Cause before 8th grade i wanted to do QUADS really super badly, but it was just a phase and never happend haha.

as of right now,

life is gettting BETTTTER.
life is actually pretty good <3
i have realized my TRUE friends, and the ones that will most likely stay till the end .
As for school, i just wanna get to highschool already. I'm sick and tired of junior high!
Drumline clinics are really helping me get ready for my audition. But i'ma be scared for the audition anyways cause i have HUGE stage fright. i freeze up, and i just suckass in front of people. But, let's hope for the best!
Hmmm, boy. i'm done. over you. i'm sick and tired of getting my hopes up and then having them crushed right after. you may not realize it, but it does hurt. so i'm done. buhbye. -CELINEHIGHFIVE!-
but you OTHERBOY. damn, your hotHotHOT x) but yourlike WAAAAAAY out of my league so i'll just have you as my eyecandy (: i would try and get you, but i have NO IDEA on how too flirt, and i already know i'm not your type, so yeah. haha. yourhot. OKAY enough of that! Hmm, life is really unfair dont you think? Pretty people have such great advantages. Why did i have to get my daddy's manly features -_- (bulky hands, wide feet, BIG LONG HEAD, BIG TALL NOSE) ugh. i wanted my mom's feminine features, but my brother got them. so.messed.up. but honestly, i think everyone just needs to find a boy that loves them for their flaws. You dont want to change yourself for a guy, have him like you for you.
Hmmm, i really need to stop biting my nails. My hands are ugly as fuck haha. And the callouses from drumline aren't helping very much. schools out in a month! i ordered my dress online, it's going to come soon. I'm scared it might be too short. PLEASEBEAPPROPRIATE. hahah. The WEATHER. goodness, it's kinda sorta ALOT HOT. but then it goes quite cold. so i'm getting sick + allergies. not good. well that's all for today ! my goal is to GETINTOAYALA'SDRUMLINE. stop being so SHY. stop beineg INSECURE. and GROW MY BANGS OUT. ugh, i hate my haircut -___-

why is it that
almost everything i want

you end up getting.

everything i fall for

you end up getting.

whywhywhy.

.

longlongday.
saw some things i didn't want to see.
and saw things that AMAZED me.

you know, because i told you.
yet, you come to me with all these words
that you KNOW are going to help me.
but, i dont' way a word.
and help you anyways.
sigh.

tomorrow.

i'll do it tomorrow.
if your online.

i'm gonna get it over with.

money.

i reallly want to take like 500$ and go on a shopping spree.